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Angel in Love: Lessons on being the Romantic Man (part 4)
Feb 12, 2012
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(part 4) Angel in Love: Cary Grant is an Angel who can teach us a lot about being a Romantic Man.
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Julia to Henry: You haven’t said a thing about it.
Henry: About what?
Julia: My new hat.
My disappointed observation: Henry, ooooh Henry, are you so focused on being threatened by Dudley that you still don’t notice the changes in your wife? In her heart she’s asking, Do you see my creativity, and if you do, does it move you? Will you join in the celebration of my creativity? Women love to create. Women are deeply romanced when their man notices the changes they make. When men don’t pay attention to the slice of heaven they’ve been given, chaos breaks out. A woman feels shame and loneliness when her man is inattentive to her. Gentlemen, do what you need to do to get over yourselves and pay attention to your woman.
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Dudley confronting Henry: …anything is possible if you are willing to compromise your principles.
Henry to the Professor: He has caused Julia to despise me.
Professor to Henry: Are you sure he has done that?
My keen observation: Henry has compromised his integrity to get where he is, and will have to keep compromising from now on. This is a spiritual principle: When you compromise to get what you want, you’ll have to keep compromising to hold onto it. Dudley is calling him out – be honest with yourself he’s saying to Henry – to thine own self be true. Your wife will respect you more. The professor challenges Henry’s suspicious-ness, which could become a victim mentality if not checked. No Henry, you have driven Julia away from you, not Dudley. Thank God, Henry has a community of men who will speak the truth to him in his hour of need.
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The most romantic compliment a man can pay a woman:
Dudley to Julia: There are a few people who know the secret of making a heaven here on earth. You are one of those people.
My translation: “You, are a classy woman. You’ve found the inner resources to rise above your life situation. You’re not defined by your circumstances. You are defined internally, by an intimate relationship with God.” This is the kind of character I look for in a woman. I lift it up for all men. Look for a woman who can bring Heaven down to Earth. If you’re already married, and she’s not there, be the man and lead the way. Do not demand that she go there first. You lead the way. Get some therapy, grow this kind of strength in yourself, and you will cultivate this in your woman. If you are single, or newly single: Don’t settle for less than a woman that brings Heaven into this Earth.
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Henry: My prayer hasn’t been answered. I was praying for a Cathedral (substitute any business goal).
Dudley: No Henry, you were praying for guidance, and this you have received.
My comment: Ka-boom! Dudley nails it! When a man is focused only on the outcome, he loses perspective, and loses his life. What good will it do you to gain the entire Earth, and lose your woman? It is a spiritual principle: Pray for the revelation of wisdom, work hard, and let go of the outcome.
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Henry in his Christmas sermon: Let us ask what the Christ child would want and let’s all do our part to give it to him.
My commentary: Excellent! Now he gets it. Sadly, the memory of the Angel has been erased from each of their memories. Henry has received a revelation of wisdom, and it feels like a natural flow of life. Let’s listen to what God wants from us, and contribute our part of the gift. The character arch in this story has occurred, the inattentive man has become the man who values who he has in his life. Happiness has come to Henry’s family, the transformation of his character is complete. Thank God for Romantic Angels.
The Work of Being A Romantic Man
Feb 10, 2012
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Life is way too short to not be a Romantic. After all, what good does it do a man to gain the entire world and lose the only thing in life he ever really cared about? That which gave meaning to his life?
I didn’t aim at being a Romantic, I just realized over time, and with proper inspiration, that I had become one. There are characteristics of being a Romantic Man, I’d like to share with you. A Romantic Man:
- …exercises his creativity often, in many different ways, not just in romance.
- …takes love seriously.
- …makes his intimate love relationship his highest priority. (Sometimes this is because, in a prior relationship, her took her for granted, and vowed never to do that again.
- …offers romantic gestures with no agenda. (he does not give to get, he just gives. The joy of seeing how loved she feels is his reward, payment, and meaning for life.)
- …appreciates her uniqueness.
- …maintains a deep, spiritual connection with his partner.
- …gives of themselves without expectations.
- …continuously learns and grows.
- …is just a little bit naughty.
- …celebrates both the masculine and the feminine.
- …celebrates sexuality.
- …pursues new and different experiences.
- …stays in touch with his emotions.
The greatest compliment I’ve received for being a Romantic, the best compliment – ever – came from my son. Officially, he is – 2Lt. Nathan Charles Jones, Army Ranger. But to me he’s Nathan. He said, Dad, you know I got my romanticism from you Dad. I’m a romantic because of you.
Angel in Love: Lessons on being the Romantic Man (part 3)
Feb 09, 2012
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(part 3) Angel in Love: Lessons on being the Romantic Man. Cary Grant is Dudley the Angel in the movie, The Bishop’s Wife.
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Dudley: (is on the floor playing with Debbie, the 8 year old girl. He tells her a story…)
My keen observation: Ladies, any man who can bond with a child is good marriage material. If he can bond with a child, he can bond with the child inside a woman. Notice he gets down on Debbie’s level, takes her correction and he knows how to tell a good story.
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Dudley: Angels come down and put ideas into people’s heads and then people feel very proud of themselves because they think it was all their idea.
My thought: I have come to believe what Dudley described is the primary way God speaks to humans. God is speaking to us all the time through intuition, pictures, visions, and revelation. If we tune into the flow of our intuition, we’ll enjoy an intimacy with the Divine we’ve never experienced before.
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Dudley: … you can tell the story from here, Henry.
Henry: Some other time.
My outraged reaction: Henry! You big duffer! You missed another golden opportunity. Dudley shows you honor by turning the story over to you, and you still have something more important to do than tell your child a story, win the admiration of your wife, and show Dudley you are big enough to cooperate with him instead of compete with him. Men who practice competition with other men only show how jealous and insecure they are.
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Julia: It somehow feels wrong to have so much fun.
My thought: Dudley has bought her the hat she’s been admiring, he’s taking her ice skating, they’ve had lunch at her favorite restaurant – this woman is being shown a good time. This is what her husband should be doing to win her heart every week of their marriage. She is safe with Dudley, so this is a good kind of risk for a woman to take with her man. These shared moments will be remembered for the rest of her life. She wants to have these memories with her husband.
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Sylvester (Taxi cab driver): …people don’t know where they’re going and they want to get there too fast. Take you two for example, I’d call you unusual. First place, you know your destination but you’re in no hurry to get there. you want to enjoy some scenery en route, and you’re not reluctant to spend an extra four bits for a detour with Mother Nature.
Dudley: Thank you, you are perceptive.
My observation: You had me at: “I’d call you unusual”. Translation: You’re a romantic couple. Thank you – someone noticed. Do you and your woman have a shared destination? Are you taking time along the way, spending time and money to make some memories and take a few detours into the great outdoors?
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Dudley to Sylvester: Put on some skates and you’ll find out just how young you are.
Julia to Henry: He made me believe I could skate!
My comment: Dudley believes the best about people. He encourages them to take healthy risks. People feel young and alive with him. They reach for more than they would have if by themselves. Dudley is being good news to people.
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Dudley: Sylvester is a noble soul. His children and his children’s children will rise up and call him blessed.
My thought: Dudley shows he is a leader of men because he is not in competition with men. He has the inner security to show honor to another man in front of Julia. He didn’t say this to impress her, he was thinking out loud and she overheard him. Again, his inner thoughts are not secret from her. He has nothing to be ashamed of.
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In part 4, Dudley is going to say, what I consider to be one of the most romantic things a man can tell a woman.
Becoming Romantically Creative
Feb 08, 2012
True Romantics are Rule-Breakers, and they are Creative, Quirky, Flexible, Observant, Childlike, Thoughtful, Fun, Wacky, and Curious, to name a few.
Romantics “work at being romantic.” Not the hard labor type of work, but like an artist works on a painting, gladly giving it time, effort, planning, thoughtfulness and a little frustration. I wish I could get paid for being a Romantic.
In today’s blog, I borrowed from an extremely talented artist who now lives in Northern California. Her blog on the work of creativity bears repeating.
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Lyn Lasneski, Artist
Continued success requires habitual creativity.
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This may seem counter-intuitive to some. Creativity isn’t something you can force, so how can you possibly be creative every day? Keep in mind, a habit of creativity doesn’t necessarily guarantee an amazing breakthrough outcome each and every day. It may turn out, especially at first, most days result in creations that aren’t that great, inspiring, creative, or useful. But simply going through the process of creativity helps you become more creative.
Good writers write every day. Good mathematicians do math every day. Good entrepreneurs undertake new projects every day. It’s not necessarily about the result or end product – although ending the day with something significant is nice – but it’s about the process. Getting into the habit of creativity will make you more creative.
1. Set aside some time each day for creative pursuits. It can be about art, business, relationships, or anything you see fit. But be sure you stick to your schedule.
2. Once you set aside a specific time, set the minimum amount of time you’ll spend in this creative session. Going longer is always okay – especially if your creativity really happens to flourish that day – but giving yourself enough time helps solidify the process.
3. Have a specific place for your creativity. Try to find a quiet, calm place. Over time, our bodies will learn to associate that certain room with creativity. This will prime your brain and make your sessions more effective.
4. Come prepared with any items you may need. You may only need a pen and paper, maybe a glass of water, but be sure you have everything you need when you sit down so you do not have to get up in the middle of your creativity.
5. Create. Just try. Go through the process. Some days will seem more successful than others, but every day you do it will be a success if only for the fact that you’re putting yourself through the process.
Spending time each day doing this will get you in the habit of creativity.
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As a certified romantic and a Certified Romance Coach, I work at being romantic every week. I wish I could tell you I was thoughtful and romantic every day, but that’s not the situation. I am often distracted by administrative tasks that feel anything but romantic. But, I gladly work at it. Being romantic gives meaning to my life.
In future blogs, I will apply the principles above to the Art of Romance.
Read more from Artist, Lyn Lasneski at the following:
http://www.lynlasneski.com/
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Dating with a Purpose
Feb 08, 2012
Matchmaking Party _0150 (Photo credit: !/_PeacePlusOne)
My friends at Catch Matchmaking are at it again, this time with one of their biggest bashes of the year: February 11, 2012. Just in time for Valentine’s this event could be the dating and matchmaking event that changes your life.
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It’s one thing to get out there and date like crazy, or another to not date at all hoping your ultimate partner comes to you. When you finally decide to get out there and find someone worth spending time and energy with, you want to find the right venue.
My friends at Catch Matchmaking, are an excellent choice when you decide to get dating again. I met them shortly after they started up in 2007. I have wanted to do some seminars with them on dating, but God was calling me in another direction and we didn’t work together. I’ll let them explain a bit more of what they do.
………………………………………………………………from www.catchmatchmaking.com
Catch Matchmaking was founded in 2007 to fulfill a tremendous need for an effective, dignified, and professional way for quality singles to meet and date in Los Angeles. Not only do our matchmakers have nearly two decades of experience in bringing people together, but also they hold degrees in Communication, Sociology, Psychology, and related fields.
Whether you are new to the city, divorced, a busy professional, or simply a great catch, we are focused on helping you find someone to share your life with. Matchmakers at Catch Matchmaking are certified through the Matchmaking Institute and must adhere to strict quality standards and a code of ethics. When you join Catch Matchmaking, there is no question that you will receive the highest level of service.
Team Members
May Hui
Founder & Matchmaker
Katie Chen
Co-Founder & Matchmaker
Elaine Lewis
Image Consultant
Sarah Ilarde
Personal Consultant
Our model of matchmaking employs intuition and expertise. With an eye towards quality over quantity, we meet face-to-face with our clients in order to hear what’s important to you. We then adhere to a careful and thoughtful process based on our knowledge of you and what you are looking for in a match. What follows is a proactive approach to finding suitable partners by extending our search beyond our membership group, using our networking skills and social connections throughout the greater Los Angeles area.
Benefits of Catch Matchmaking:
- Minimizes discouragement through a calculated process of matchmaking
- Saves time—we do the work for you
- Eliminates awkward, frustrating and often depressing elements of meeting people at bars or online
- Brings dignity to dating
- Matches are pre-screened
- Boutique agency that provides personalized service
- No open enrollment
- Certified matchmakers held to strict standards and a code of ethics
- Confidential and discreet
For tickets and more info, click HERE.
Slow Wet Kisses
Feb 06, 2012
Cover of Bull Durham
Sometimes a kiss is not just a kiss. Actor Kevin Costner portrays an aspiring ballplayer in the movie Bull Durham. He tells his female lead, Susan Surandon, that what he believes in is … slow, wet, kisses that last two days.
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At that moment, the entire female audience went into a deep, romantic trance.
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Who can blame them? What Costner has said goes deep into a woman’s soul. Most women get a glassy eyed stare in their eyes when they hear him say this, and are then left dazed and entranced.
Want proof men? Contemplate what Costner says, and say the same thing to your woman in the same way and see what kind of response you get. After their eyes refocus and they start breathing again you’ll know what you have to do.
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Kiss every part of her, not just her mouth. Kiss her body, soul and spirit.
Kiss her Body: Be creative in finding new places to kiss… behind the neck, the side of the neck, kiss her forearms, and softly kiss her belly. Be inventive. Learn where your woman likes to be kissed and kiss her there.
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A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition. ~Clare Whiting
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I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies’ hands – after all, one must start somewhere. ~Sacha Guitry
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Kiss her Soul: The soul is made up of mind, will and emotions. You kiss her soul when you respect her ideas, and really, really listen to her. Care about her emotions, and ask her what she wants. This is how a man kisses a woman’s soul.
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Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein
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Once he drew
With one long kiss my whole soul thro’
My lips, as sunlight drinketh dew.
~Alfred Lord Tennyson
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Kiss her Spirit: Men, nurture her spirit. Lead her spiritually. Nourish her creativity. Support her connection to nature. Find the things that bring your woman alive, and encourage her to do those things.
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‘Twas not my lips you kissed
But my soul
~Judy Garland
Angel in Love: Lessons on being the Romantic Man (part 2)
Feb 03, 2012
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(part 2) Lessons from an Angel (Cary Grant) on being a Romantic Man.
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Julia: I never know what to think. I never know when you’re joking or serious.
Dudley: When I’m joking I’m the most serious.
My thought: Being playful and doing the unexpected captures the woman’s interest. Dudley is being wonderfully paradoxical, and has no need to explain himself. The romantic man can keep his woman off balance by being playful and taking her on an adventure. I remind you, do not cover up your chronic anxiety with humor, get a therapist and do the work of coming to peace with yourself. Remember men, the humor is never at her expense. Kid her for sure, but never put her down with your humor. Instead, treat her like your 10 year old sister – be playful and kind. When you have to make a choice, make yourself the butt of a joke, it’s much more endearing, and shows you have the ego strength to handle it.
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Henry: What’s that you’re singing dear?
Julia: I don’t know, is it something?
My Observations: Henry, the husband is noticing for the first time, that when his woman is paid a little attention, her spirit comes alive. Your woman is craving for your attention. This wife has not manipulated the attention being paid to her, she’s being feminine. Remember, in their old neighborhood she was well known, and well liked. Her feminine spirit opens people up. Notice though, when a woman comes alive, she’s brighter, more energetic, more alive, more vibrant, more attractive – and she doesn’t even notice it at first.
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Henry: I like to watch your brushing your hair.
Julia: Is that a compliment?
Henry: You’re so capable … everything you do is so, capable.
My comment: Dooough! Has it been so long since you’ve flirted with your wife Henry that you forgot how? Did you stop flirting after you got married? Are there more important things to do than romance your wife? You dolt! Let’s take a walk, Henry, I need to teach you a few dozen things.
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Henry: If there’s anything I pride myself in, it’s that we live a well-ordered life.
My rantings: Dooooough! Henry! Don’t make me open this can of whup-ass! You pride yourself in a well-ordered life? Ohmygawd Henry, your wife wants to be part of an adventure, of a life spent in something larger than herself. She wants to be your love, not your nanny. We’ve got some learning to do here Henry, are you teachable. You can have her responding to your touch, and your voice in quick time, if you’re willing to learn the secrets of romance.
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Henry needs some help here. He’s about to sink even lower. I need an aspirin. Follow along in part 3.
Angel in Love: Lessons on being the Romantic Man (part I)
Jan 31, 2012
The Bishop’s Wife (Image via RottenTomatoes.com)
Alert! Angel in Love. Danger, Will Robinson! This is not supposed to happen, but it does. It did in the ‘98 movie City of Angels and before that, in the 1947 movie, The Bishop’s Wife, with Cary Grant and Loretta Young. Cary Grant is an Angel (Dudley), and men, this Angel can teach us a lot about romance if we are open to learning. He is an Alpha Male, and the women are mesmerized by him. I’ve posted some great movie quotes with my comments:
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Professor: Where are you from?
Dudley: What would you say if I told you I was from another planet? … Well, we’re all from our own little planet, that’s what makes this life so interesting.
My thought: The man of flirtation and romance is playful. He doesn’t dodge the question, he answers it in a non-conventional way. This breaks out of Julia’s anticipated answer, and captures her attention.
The romantic man is alive to the people around him. He remembers their names, he seeks to understand the planet each person is coming from, he doesn’t judge. He is there to be of assistance whenever He can. He equally serves men and women. It is not beneath him to do a woman’s chore so she can go free to do what she would like to do, especially if she needs to go relax. He is open and attentive to people he meets. He takes time to find out what a woman likes, and what she would like to do, then he seizes the time with her. In this movie he remembers her favorite restaurant, the hat she admires, and the skaters, and he takes action for the woman. He is not desperate for love. He’s secure enough in who he is to be honest about himself.
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Dudley: Oh, this will never do…. ladies you’re good friends of Julia’s please join us for some coffee… waiter, bring us three, Benedictines, better make it three Stingers.
Dudley looks all people in the eye, he engages people. He’s taken Julia to her favorite restaurant (he payed attention) and he uses a classic flirtation move of asking to read Julia’s palm. He holds eye contact with Julia, and notice the color of her eyes (green). He is definitely not absorbed in his own anxieties, and he carries no guilty conscience, because he has no selfish agenda. The church ladies at the next table are chatting about how Dudley is holding the Bishop’s wife’s hand, and Julia is distracted. In an awkward situation the masculine energy moves to the battle. Dudley approaches the church ladies and invites the catty, religious women over to the table with he and Julia. He orders three “stingers” for the ladies. He is going to get them a little buzzed. He is awesome! Cary Grant as Dudley is an Alpha Male, a romantic renegade.
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It looks like it is going well now, but the Bishop (Henry) is about to reveal he has a very under-developed sense of romance. He is too distracted with his visions of his own glory to care for his woman. Read more in part 2.
“Why not charge?”
Jan 31, 2012 Image by Getty Images via @daylife………………….From: Daily Mail
‘Why not charge?’: Eamonn Holmes shocks This Morning viewers as he asks sex addict why she hasn’t turned to prostitution
In an article by David Gerges, Eamonn Holmes is said to have stunned ITV viewers after he asked a female sex addict why she hadn’t turned to prostitution.
The This Morning host was interviewing Crystal Warren who claimed to have slept with more than 1000 men.
The 42-year-old revealed that she was unable to keep a job as a result of her constant need for sex.
Holmes’ interrogation led to an outrage on Twitter with TOWIE star Lucy Mecklenburgh amongst those to vent her anger.
She said: “Omg !! Can’t believe eamon holmes just said to a sex addict on this morning ‘y dont you start a business , and charge for it !’ Illegal !”
BLUNDERING EAMONN
The gaffe is the second time Holmes has surrounded himself in controversy.
In October, 2011, he told rape victim, Hannah Cant, ‘I hope you take taxis now,’ after she had appeared on the show to talk about her harrowing experience.
At the end of the interview, after thanking her for appearing, Holmes said: ‘I hope you take taxis now. Everywhere you go, coming home at night.’
He then turned and asked his wife and co-presenter Ruth Langsford: ‘How many times do I tell people who I know to take taxis?’
Hundreds of outraged viewers took to social media websites to protest, accusing the presenter of ‘victim blaming’.
Harry Bradshaw added: “The awkward momentEamonn Holmes asks you why don’t you just become a prostitute live on TV this morning.”
Whilst another person wrote: “Eamonn Holmes is disgusting!
An ITV spokesperson told The Sun: ‘Eamonn’s question was in the context of a wider balanced and frank interview and we have had no complaints.’
Whilst Doctor Thaddeus Birchard, who specialises in sex addiction, said: ‘It was an irresponsible comment.’
He added: ‘It shows no understanding of the true nature of sex addiction.
‘I meet people all the time whose lives are in disarray because of their sex patterns and people are very distressed by this.’
…………………………….commentary:
My attitude is one of support. I applaud Eamonn for asking the question. It is a question many of his viewers are silently asking themselves, or quietly asking their mate. He is the voice for those who have no voice. He is doing what he is supposed to do as a public figure.
Those who got shocked at his question should not be treating sex addicts. They are too biased, and have lost their professional objectivity.
I successfully treat sex addicts in therapy. Eamonn’s question is a fair question. It’s actually quite similar to how Milton Erickson treated a London prostitute. Cured her in rapid order. If you’re not acquainted with how Erickson did this, do your research.
Eamonn’s question is in the spirit of being a true scientist, a true artist, a true humanitarian. His approach to this woman was respectful if you watched the video. His question has a child-like inquisitiveness, and that’s how advancements occur – become like a child and hold on to your natural sense of curiosity. Those who are shocked are shutting down the advancement of support for sex addicts.
Shame on those who are shocked at his inquiry. He may have just cured this woman.
Flesh: Bought and Sold in the U.S.
Jan 30, 2012
Image via Wikipedia
“There are more slaves today than at any other time in human history.”
I saw a movie tonight that will forever be in my consciousness: Flesh: Bought and Sold in America. The movie is narrated by some of the few girls who have escaped their enslavement, some who are still in the game, as it is called, by abolitionists, and by current and former pimps. The filmmakers plunge into why there is a constant demand for new flesh, and why the pimps must rotate the girls from city to city, on the circuit, as it is called. It shows viewers what they can do to help.
The movie, Amazing Grace, depicted the battle against slavery William Wilberforce brought to the English Parliament. He fought valiantly for years to end the slave trade in the English colonies. Personally he battled discouragement, despair and disillusionment. But for the courage and support of his plucky wife, may have given up. But he didn’t and the battle was won.
The situation today is worse than it was in the day of William Wilberforce, and will take the courage and tenacity of all Americans to win the war Wilberforce began. 30 Million women and children world-wide depend on our efforts.
100,000 of them here in America. 100,000 minors are sold for sex in America every year. This battle has come to American soil. We must be the voice they do not have today. We must defend the defenseless.
The average age of entry into prostitution in the United States is between 12 and 14 years of age. These are children literally kidnapped from their families, coerced, tortured and exploited. All for someone else’s monetary profit. These kids, both boys and girls, are forever changed, if not destroyed. All those who follow after Jesus are all admonished to seek justice, stop the oppressor, defend the fatherless, and plead the case for the widow. (Isaiah 1:17)
Human Trafficking is modern day slavery. They are too young to protest, too weak to save themselves, too broken to defend themselves. They have a chain around their brain, the movie says, a Brain Chain.
Human Trafficking, Modern Slavery, Modern Prostitution is against everything I stand for. It taints sex, casts a shadow over sexual freedom, oppresses women, crushes children, and destroys the men and women who condone this industry. The freedom of adults to be romantic, sensual adults is being assaulted by this Modern Slavery.
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As Warriors and Goddesses we run to the battle.
You can connect with the movie and get in on the battle to end Human Slavery at: www.fleshthemovie.org
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