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"Jack and I dated for six years, and it wasn’t until our premarital counseling with you that we became intimately aware of each other. So now with eyes wide open, we will be married in two months."


The Ultimate Guidebook to Avoiding Emotional Manipulators and Bullies

Be Aware of Traits That Permit Others to Manipulate You.

Be Aware of Manipulation in Relationships.
People often complain of being controlled or manipulated. However, what they do not realize is that it is some of their behavioral traits, which make them exposed to chronic manipulators. These traits are easily recognizable and can be dealt with to prevent people from taking advantage of you.
People who have been traumatised in childhood, who are sensitive to others moods, and those who have a world view that excludes guiltlessness in others are susceptible to manipulation. These are people who were bullied earlier in life and have learned to be hyper-aware of others needs. Manipulators find such people easy to influence and control. In Spiritual terms these are people who have allowed their soul (including their mind, and emotions) to have larger say-so in their decision making than their spirit. Manipulators will do such people small favors to engender a false sense of loyalty in the victim  in order to take advantage of this weakness.
Another sign that will attract manipulators is being a compassionate, caring, overly giving individual. These are people who are afraid of confrontations and will tolerate insults and emotional abuse in order to avoid a confrontation. The victim holds too tightly to the belief that the Manipulator is merely a hurting person in need of love and safety, forgetting that there are some in society who are not just hurt people, but guiltless people who don’t care who they hurt in the process. A chronic manipulator will take advantage of this by pretending to be upset or angry, which he knows will affect your sensitive nature.
Finally, when the victim carries a misunderstanding of their own identity, or a lack of  their own authority they exud a sense of being manipulatable. Most often the victim has a higher than average sense of responsibility for the well being of others. These are easily identifiable traits in any person. Chronic, malevolent manipulators will immediately use you to help boost their ego and also make you act according to their whims and fancies. It is obvious that a person with low self-confidence, a high view of personal responsibility, and a large compassion for others is easy to push around, and this is exactly what manipulators seek.
Manipulators use an up and down tactic to gain leverage in a victims life. Manipulators build the victim up, praise them, thank them, give little concessions to them and alternately tear them down, criticize them, belittle them. All of it is designed to break the victim down and make them feel responsible for the well-being of the Manipulator. The Manipulator is not looking to merely steal all they can, they are looking for someone to keep in their stable, someone they can live off of.
When the relationship finally explodes the Manipulator will be hurt, shocked and retaliatory. They will become very vengeful and strike out against the victim. Then, having done as much damage as they can, they move on and find another victim. These people are the parasites of society, never developing their own skills, talents and income, because they find it easier to live off of someone else’s efforts. There is not enough warning in society about these Manipulators because they are so difficult to spot up front. Only their victims can really tell you what it’s like to be devastated by a Manipulator, but often it’s after the devastation has occurred.
  • The Invisible Psychopath
  • The Manipulative
  • Why Do People Control Others Through Emotional Manipulation?
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