What Dancing With The Stars Can Teach Us About Masculinity (part 3)
- He sees her, or maybe she caught his eye. He’s attracted and moves to her, their hearts begin to pound. He probably has no idea what it is he’ll say next, he’s a man on a mission. “Would you like to dance?” he asks, and thankfully she accepts. Game on.
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- Gentlemen – from this moment on you are the lead, she is the follower. If you give her a good lead, she will feel safe with you. It is your job to keep her interested, so learn to get past the basics. Wether it is in conversation, dance or building a relationship, have a road map in mind as to where this might go. Are you a “player” or are you in it for love? Be honest with yourself, and clear with her. Your young relationship will progress along some pretty predictable lines. Contact me and I’ll help you navigate your way.
One of the first ways a woman knows she is safe with you is that you establish and maintain a strong frame. You connect with your partner in reliable ways. She knows where your arm is so she doesn’t lose her balance. She knows where your hands are so she doesn’t have to constantly fend off your octopus-like advances. Likewise, there are certain things a woman does that is rather cute to you, and then there are deal-breakers, and things this woman does that you won’t put up with. Be honest with yourself and her about what you will and will not put up with. Remember, no matter how gorgeous a woman is, there is some guy somewhere who won’t put up with her actions. Maintain a strong frame in dancing and in relationship and be consistent.
Do what you say you’ll do. This is one way she knows you hold a strong frame. Do what you say you’ll do. Be true to your word. She’ll respect you for it.
It’s your lead. Your dance partner will do what you tell her to do. Give her clear signals. When there is a mix up on the dance floor it’s usually because his signal wasn’t clear or strong enough. I have found it better to accept responsibility when there is confusion on the dance floor. If she didn’t execute the move, assume it was your fault. In doing this, you’ll spare her ego, and motivate yourself to be more clear and strong the next time.
Keep an eye on her. Know where she is. Don’t get so lost in your moves, or your anxiety, or your fatigue that you lose track of where she is or where her energy level is. Keeping an eye on the girl is a great way to stay connected with her throughout the dance, and into the relationship. Pay attention to her body signals and you’ll know when it’s time to leave the party while she still has energy. Paying attention to her body will speak volumes to you about how aroused she is for romance. A man will increase his chances of total success if he pays attention to her body signals, and takes the appropriate action to protect her energy.
Great lessons from the world of Ballroom Dance for the success of your relationship. If you have questions, leave a comment.
Ball gown and tailcoat are always worn when dancing competitively. This couple are dancing an international standard tango. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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