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Menopause: “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

Portrait of a woman with a fan and a cigarette.

Image via Wikipedia

Menopause comes to every woman like her own personal summer. Described as  a heat from within, the temperature inside a woman can spike skyward making living very uncomfortable for she and her man. To cool off, some women stand in front of the fan or the freezer trying to cool down, some begin to unbutton their blouse. At nighttime, they can soak the bed, the heat keeps her awake, and that makes for a very cranky next morning.


Menopause signals the end of a woman’s reproductive era. No more babies. No more opportunity to be a mommy. If you haven’t had children by now, it’s not going to happen. The window of opportunity is closed. Your identity as a woman is changing. This upsets a lot of women.


As does the sudden discomfort, rise and fall in temperatures, clothes go on and off, night sweats, and the patience all of this requires from her man.


Remedies include hormone replacement therapy (although this is not good for every woman), herbal remedies, ice packs, and layered clothing, but none of these carries a satisfactory answer. Hot flashes may be diminished by exercising, keeping cool, and Hypnosis to promote slow, controlled breathing.


With menstruation on one end of life (the beginning of the reproductive cycle), and menopause on the other (ending a woman’s reproductive capabilities), a woman’s life is divided into three time zones: before, during and after fertility. Menstruation and Menopause are the two rites of initiation into the mystery, wisdom and power of being a woman. In the years of menopause the woman is  initiated into the new identity of being a wise, mystical, powerful elder.

Human females are unique to all other species of females on this planet. They menstruate and cease to be reproductively available with half their lives still ahead of them. Ancient wisdom has it that menopause It is a woman’s way of passing into a mysterious time of life. A woman can become very independent, confident and insightful about life. New interests can emerge. It takes a hearty man to go through menopause with his woman and stay connected. When they do, a new, exciting chapter of their romance will open up to both of them.

It is an absolute myth to suggest that a woman’s sensuality goes out the window when menopause comes in. Not true at all. Every woman, right now, is orgasmic. If orgasm is re-defined as an intensely pleasurable experience with her man, which offers the opportunity for her to have an incredibly life changing, intimate connection of transformational enjoyment.

In this part of her life, the woman experiences a complete change at a cellular level. It is something she must do alone. It is a passage, a wilderness a woman must enter into alone. The men who love women cannot do this for them, they can only stand in support as they morph from caterpillar to butterfly. In classic legend, ancient wisdom, and Mythology the three classic stages of all human initiation are here to be experienced: isolation, death and rebirth. The woman emerges as a powerful source of spirit, love and wisdom.

Each woman has special needs; and menopause, as difficult as it is for some, offers special challenges. As men who honor women we give support and understanding, assuring her of our constant devotion during these turbulent times.

When a woman asks, Is it hot in here or is it just me? – every self respecting, romantic men shall now respond,   It’s you baby, it’s you.

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