The Essential Guidebook to Dealing with Emotional Manipulators and Bullies (part 2 of 3)
Bully aftermath (Photo credit: TheeErin)
The practice of breaking another human being down mentally is carried out covertly by Emotional Bullies. The Emotional Vampire wants to be seen as your good friend, until the victim tries to break away, think for themselves, choose to not be in the relationship, get free of the Bully, or assert their independence. Then the Emotional Vampire applies direct threats, intimidation, and blackmail. Have I mentioned they use intimidation a lot?
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They gain power covertly and avoid taking responsibility for his and/or her actions. They justify their own inappropriate, cruel, or abusive behavior, usually by blaming the other for making them use their wicked powers on the victim. It is a “You made me drink. … You made me hit you. … If you would have just been good, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you the ways I have.”
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They don’t want a real relationship, can’t handle a real friendship. It literally creeps them out to have a friend. It makes them feel weak to acknowledge they need a friend, or they feel gratitude for another person. They feel weakened by kindness, friendship, honesty and compassion so they crush these in others.
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The Emotional Bully will begin soft, and intensify until they get their way. This is a win for them, and winning means everything to them. They don’t know what it’s like to be satisfied, attached, honored in a life-giving relationship. These parasites take life. They are life-stealing entities. In my experience these thieves are guiltless, lacking in compassion, and have no experience at being comforted. In essence these soul-less creatures received nothing of what you get from being mothered. What they know of being cared for is impoverished, psychotic or sadistic.
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The book of Proverbs describes three types of people: The Wise – for these people when you shine the light of truth and grace on them, they welcome the light and adjust their behavior. The Foolish – for these people, when the light of truth and grace is shined on them, they squirm and attempt to escape the light. and The Wicked – well, when the wicked ones have the light of truth and grace shined on them, they attempt to destroy the light and the one shining the light on them.
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You have some clue wether someone is Foolish or Wicked by the presence of satisfaction, guilt and compassion. Someone like Scrooge could show remorse. King David, when the light was shined on him repented, and made the situation right. The little tax collector, Zacchaeus, when he was invaded by love repaid people 4 x’s what he took from them.
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