What Dancing With The Stars Can Teach Us about Masculinity (part 1)

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Never give a sword to a man who cannot dance. – ancient proverb

I love this quote. Never give a sword to a man who cannot dance. Love it. When a man becomes a Warrior he is in submission to the realm. Meaning, he gives his all for the protection of the people he has left back at home. He is under submission to a King. He serves the King and the realm.

He is willing to shed blood to protect the realm: his blood or his enemy’s blood. He is willing to give his life to protect his loved ones, and equally willing to do anything he needs to do to stop an invader from having access to his woman.

A man is a protector. He defends those who cannot defend themselves.

But a man who is only a Warrior, who is not balanced by being a Lover, is a man who has become a mere killer. He has become a mercenary. He is willing to fight anybody for any cause, has no people to protect, serves no King. His warrior skills are for hire, he has no honor in who he kills. His warrior abilities are for hire. He has become a paid murderer.

I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
Never trust spiritual leader who cannot dance.  ~Mr. Miyagi, The Next Karate Kid, 1994

So, again I tell you – Never give a sword to a man who cannot dance.

It’s a metaphor for saying, unless a warrior is also a lover, do not trust him in battle.

My interest in dancing came before the end of a failed relationship. I secretly began taking dance lessons in an attempt to bolster my leadership in my failing relationship, and increasing the romance and connection between us. My attempts were a failure. I was trying to bolster a sagging relationship.

I stopped the lessons, and didn’t return to dancing for perhaps 10 years. My interest in dancing revived after I went through a season of warrior training, and really understood the heart and spirit of being a warrior.

There comes a time in every man’s life when the community of men speak into a man’s life, giving him what women could not give him. After a time of inviting men to speak truth into my life, my interest in dancing perked up, this time with a legitimate desire to be more of myself. I wasn’t using dance to impress a woman with something I was not. So, I began dancing, and never intend to stop.

More on the lessons learned from dancing in the next installment.