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Body Language: Approaching Your Man

Mar 10, 2012
According to Keirsey, Oprah Winfrey may be a T...

Image via Wikipedia

Oprah had an article on how women could approach their men. It is a good article, but one of the comments below was even more interesting.

………from Oprah online

Hey! Hey! Hey! I am a real man and I have to put my 2 cents in here. When women talk about how to connect with the men in their life; there are few things to look at: If we are talking about men in a spousal role, at the onset of the relationship, women have to make sure that the men are compatible in every way; I say this because to me love is good in a relationship but communication is greater. Why would you want to live the rest of your life with someone who cannot hold a conversation? Remember the first time you met, he called you ten times a day, invited you to every arena and listened attentively to all you had to say, and you couldn’t shot him up. You have to keep that fire burning all the time; but generally you forget along the way and you changed the routine or you allow life occurrences to dictate new routines for your life; then boom it hits you in between the eyes—No more going with him to the arena, no more healthy conversation, no more talking on the phone for hours, no more spontaneous outings. Now everyday becomes a struggle in and out of your home. Instead of taking a step back to revisit where everything started the nosedive; you only find faults with each other. The fault in my book is 50/50 for both of you because you both forgot to feed the source of your initial conversation which brought you closer together at the beginning. Remember, once you said I do, you cannot turn around and try to change Mr. Silent to Mr. talkative. As for other men in your life; be it a dad, a brother or an uncle it is same antidote; the type of your relationship at the onset with any of these men will always remain same; as long as you continue to feed the source. Women are mostly drawn to their fathers and men to their mothers. If there is a health relationship and flow of conversation from the start, it always continues. You have to continue doing all the things that gives him pleasure to communicate. And forget to pay attention to the details.

………….my comment:

Tsoul1007 is right on. It is useless to fix blame on one another. Blame only serves to isolate your partner. That said, the suggestions in the article are great, this is a great article. Approaching men from the side is brilliant! AND… did you know, approaching women almost straight on is appropriate for them. Women feel safer when they can see who’s approaching and assess what their motives are. Approach women from just off center. If you approach women from the side, like you would a man, women get jumpy. Their primitive warning signals go off and they worry about their safety. If you do approach a woman from the side or behind, announce yourself and tell her what your reasons are for approaching her this way. It shows respect for a woman.

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Read more at:  http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Connect-with-Men-Have-a-Conversation-with-the-Men-in-Your-Life

Menopause: “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?”

Feb 21, 2012
Portrait of a woman with a fan and a cigarette.

Image via Wikipedia

Menopause comes to every woman like her own personal summer. Described as  a heat from within, the temperature inside a woman can spike skyward making living very uncomfortable for she and her man. To cool off, some women stand in front of the fan or the freezer trying to cool down, some begin to unbutton their blouse. At nighttime, they can soak the bed, the heat keeps her awake, and that makes for a very cranky next morning.

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Menopause signals the end of a woman’s reproductive era. No more babies. No more opportunity to be a mommy. If you haven’t had children by now, it’s not going to happen. The window of opportunity is closed. Your identity as a woman is changing. This upsets a lot of women.

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As does the sudden discomfort, rise and fall in temperatures, clothes go on and off, night sweats, and the patience all of this requires from her man.

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Remedies include hormone replacement therapy (although this is not good for every woman), herbal remedies, ice packs, and layered clothing, but none of these carries a satisfactory answer. Hot flashes may be diminished by exercising, keeping cool, and Hypnosis to promote slow, controlled breathing.

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With menstruation on one end of life (the beginning of the reproductive cycle), and menopause on the other (ending a woman’s reproductive capabilities), a woman’s life is divided into three time zones: before, during and after fertility. Menstruation and Menopause are the two rites of initiation into the mystery, wisdom and power of being a woman. In the years of menopause the woman is  initiated into the new identity of being a wise, mystical, powerful elder.

Human females are unique to all other species of females on this planet. They menstruate and cease to be reproductively available with half their lives still ahead of them. Ancient wisdom has it that menopause It is a woman’s way of passing into a mysterious time of life. A woman can become very independent, confident and insightful about life. New interests can emerge. It takes a hearty man to go through menopause with his woman and stay connected. When they do, a new, exciting chapter of their romance will open up to both of them.

It is an absolute myth to suggest that a woman’s sensuality goes out the window when menopause comes in. Not true at all. Every woman, right now, is orgasmic. If orgasm is re-defined as an intensely pleasurable experience with her man, which offers the opportunity for her to have an incredibly life changing, intimate connection of transformational enjoyment.

In this part of her life, the woman experiences a complete change at a cellular level. It is something she must do alone. It is a passage, a wilderness a woman must enter into alone. The men who love women cannot do this for them, they can only stand in support as they morph from caterpillar to butterfly. In classic legend, ancient wisdom, and Mythology the three classic stages of all human initiation are here to be experienced: isolation, death and rebirth. The woman emerges as a powerful source of spirit, love and wisdom.

Each woman has special needs; and menopause, as difficult as it is for some, offers special challenges. As men who honor women we give support and understanding, assuring her of our constant devotion during these turbulent times.

When a woman asks, Is it hot in here or is it just me? – every self respecting, romantic men shall now respond,   It’s you baby, it’s you.