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Unrequited Love: Giving the Gift No One Wants (Part 1 of 3)

Dec 09, 2012
P.S. I Love You (The Beatles song)

P.S. I Love You (The Beatles song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Beatles sang, “Love … Love … Love … All you need is Love…”

– then they broke up.  – The inimical, Ryan D. Jones

Ryan says a lot of stuff I don’t hear, a lot of stuff I wish I hadn’t heard. And he says a lot of crazy stuff I wish I could publish and make a mint off of. He often says some of the funniest, most profound things in life.   So I listen when he talks, because you never know…. even a blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally.


Love is what it’s all about isn’t it? We are hardwired to love and belong. It’s the sign of being a complete human being.


If you find my beloved, tell him I am faint with Love.  -Song of Solomon 5:8


If we are hardwired to love and belong, then it is the most painful, and universal experience to be  in love with someone, when they don’t love you back in the same way. Unrequited Love is a love that is unreciprocated. Every adult has been on one side of this love at one time in their life. It’s part of being an adult. It increases your compassion for both the loved and the lover. It is an insanely painful, heart-breaking ride that can leave you pretty distracted at best, and in agony at worst. On a richter scale it is probably like having something the size of a dinosaur sit on your chest.


One co-ed said, “I had given him everything I had (not physically, but definitely emotionally). I was totally empty and heartbroken by his rejection, and this affected me for a long time afterward…. I have not given myself to any guy with that same intensity since.”








Song of Songs: Romance and Intimacy

Nov 13, 2012

Dinner (Photo credit: Paul Watson)

The woman speaks to the man she loves: Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth! Your love is better than wine.   Q: Is romance best left to the teenagers? What does the older generation have to teach the younger about romance? . Q: What was your best romantic moment? . Q: What keeps the romance alive?   Song of Songs 1:2  – When a woman says his kiss is better than wine, then… well, life really doesn’t get much better. Say it to your man, and he will feel like a million bucks.

Angel in Love: Lessons on being the Romantic Man (part I)

Jan 31, 2012
The Bishop's Wife

The Bishop’s Wife (Image via

Alert!  Angel in Love.  Danger, Will Robinson! This is not supposed to happen, but it does. It did in the ‘98 movie City of Angels and before that, in the 1947 movie, The Bishop’s Wife, with Cary Grant and Loretta Young. Cary Grant is an Angel (Dudley), and men, this Angel can teach us a lot about romance if we are open to learning. He is an Alpha Male, and the women are mesmerized by him. I’ve posted some great  movie quotes with my comments:


Professor: Where are you from?

Dudley: What would you say if I told you I was from another planet? … Well, we’re all from our own little planet, that’s what makes this life so interesting.


My thought: The man of flirtation and romance is playful. He doesn’t dodge the question, he answers it in a non-conventional way. This breaks out of Julia’s anticipated answer, and captures her attention.

The romantic man is alive to the people around him. He remembers their names, he seeks to understand the planet each person is coming from, he doesn’t judge. He is there to be of assistance whenever He can. He equally serves men and women. It is not beneath him to do a woman’s chore so she can go free to do what she would like to do, especially if she needs to go relax. He is open and attentive to people he meets. He takes time to find out what a woman likes, and what she would like to do, then he seizes the time with her. In this movie he remembers her favorite restaurant, the hat she admires, and the skaters, and he takes action for the woman. He is not desperate for love. He’s secure enough in who he is to be honest about himself.


Dudley: Oh, this will never do…. ladies you’re good friends of Julia’s please join us for some coffee… waiter, bring us three, Benedictines, better make it three Stingers.

Dudley looks all people in the eye, he engages people. He’s taken Julia to her favorite restaurant (he payed attention) and he uses a classic flirtation move of asking to read Julia’s palm. He holds eye contact with Julia, and notice the color of her eyes (green). He is definitely not absorbed in his own anxieties, and he carries no guilty conscience, because he has no selfish agenda. The church ladies at the next table are chatting about how Dudley is holding the Bishop’s wife’s hand, and Julia is distracted. In an awkward situation the masculine energy moves to the battle. Dudley approaches the church ladies and invites the catty, religious women over to the table with he and Julia. He orders three “stingers” for the ladies. He is going to get them a little buzzed. He is awesome! Cary Grant as Dudley is an Alpha Male, a romantic renegade.


It looks like it is going well now, but the Bishop (Henry) is about to reveal he has a very under-developed sense of romance. He is too distracted with his visions of his own glory to care for his woman. Read more in part 2.