(part 2) Lessons from an Angel (Cary Grant) on being a Romantic Man.
Julia: I never know what to think. I never know when you’re joking or serious.
Dudley: When I’m joking I’m the most serious.
My thought: Being playful and doing the unexpected captures the woman’s interest. Dudley is being wonderfully paradoxical, and has no need to explain himself. The romantic man can keep his woman off balance by being playful and taking her on an adventure. I remind you, do not cover up your chronic anxiety with humor, get a therapist and do the work of coming to peace with yourself. Remember men, the humor is never at her expense. Kid her for sure, but never put her down with your humor. Instead, treat her like your 10 year old sister – be playful and kind. When you have to make a choice, make yourself the butt of a joke, it’s much more endearing, and shows you have the ego strength to handle it.
Henry: What’s that you’re singing dear?
Julia: I don’t know, is it something?
My Observations: Henry, the husband is noticing for the first time, that when his woman is paid a little attention, her spirit comes alive. Your woman is craving for your attention. This wife has not manipulated the attention being paid to her, she’s being feminine. Remember, in their old neighborhood she was well known, and well liked. Her feminine spirit opens people up. Notice though, when a woman comes alive, she’s brighter, more energetic, more alive, more vibrant, more attractive – and she doesn’t even notice it at first.
Henry: I like to watch your brushing your hair.
Julia: Is that a compliment?
Henry: You’re so capable … everything you do is so, capable.
My comment: Dooough! Has it been so long since you’ve flirted with your wife Henry that you forgot how? Did you stop flirting after you got married? Are there more important things to do than romance your wife? You dolt! Let’s take a walk, Henry, I need to teach you a few dozen things.
Henry: If there’s anything I pride myself in, it’s that we live a well-ordered life.
My rantings: Dooooough! Henry! Don’t make me open this can of whup-ass! You pride yourself in a well-ordered life? Ohmygawd Henry, your wife wants to be part of an adventure, of a life spent in something larger than herself. She wants to be your love, not your nanny. We’ve got some learning to do here Henry, are you teachable. You can have her responding to your touch, and your voice in quick time, if you’re willing to learn the secrets of romance.
Henry needs some help here. He’s about to sink even lower. I need an aspirin. Follow along in part 3.
Alert! Angel in Love. Danger, Will Robinson! This is not supposed to happen, but it does. It did in the ‘98 movie City of Angels and before that, in the 1947 movie, The Bishop’s Wife, with Cary Grant and Loretta Young. Cary Grant is an Angel (Dudley), and men, this Angel can teach us a lot about romance if we are open to learning. He is an Alpha Male, and the women are mesmerized by him. I’ve posted some great movie quotes with my comments:
Professor: Where are you from?
Dudley: What would you say if I told you I was from another planet? … Well, we’re all from our own little planet, that’s what makes this life so interesting.
My thought: The man of flirtation and romance is playful. He doesn’t dodge the question, he answers it in a non-conventional way. This breaks out of Julia’s anticipated answer, and captures her attention.
The romantic man is alive to the people around him. He remembers their names, he seeks to understand the planet each person is coming from, he doesn’t judge. He is there to be of assistance whenever He can. He equally serves men and women. It is not beneath him to do a woman’s chore so she can go free to do what she would like to do, especially if she needs to go relax. He is open and attentive to people he meets. He takes time to find out what a woman likes, and what she would like to do, then he seizes the time with her. In this movie he remembers her favorite restaurant, the hat she admires, and the skaters, and he takes action for the woman. He is not desperate for love. He’s secure enough in who he is to be honest about himself.
Dudley: Oh, this will never do…. ladies you’re good friends of Julia’s please join us for some coffee… waiter, bring us three, Benedictines, better make it three Stingers.
Dudley looks all people in the eye, he engages people. He’s taken Julia to her favorite restaurant (he payed attention) and he uses a classic flirtation move of asking to read Julia’s palm. He holds eye contact with Julia, and notice the color of her eyes (green). He is definitely not absorbed in his own anxieties, and he carries no guilty conscience, because he has no selfish agenda. The church ladies at the next table are chatting about how Dudley is holding the Bishop’s wife’s hand, and Julia is distracted. In an awkward situation the masculine energy moves to the battle. Dudley approaches the church ladies and invites the catty, religious women over to the table with he and Julia. He orders three “stingers” for the ladies. He is going to get them a little buzzed. He is awesome! Cary Grant as Dudley is an Alpha Male, a romantic renegade.
It looks like it is going well now, but the Bishop (Henry) is about to reveal he has a very under-developed sense of romance. He is too distracted with his visions of his own glory to care for his woman. Read more in part 2.