Be sure you heard what you think she said. Use the phrase: “I heard you say X, is that what you meant?” Use the phrase often. It helps clear up communication, shows her you’re paying attention, and keeps you out of trouble.
If you want to go further, where it’s appropriate ask here what her “inner woman” is saying.
Women have an outer and an inner woman. With their outer woman they say what they think they should say, they tell you what you want to hear. But, she also has an inner woman.
When you respect her inner woman, you’ll gain points, and save yourself some grief.
She is often not in contact with her own inner woman, and this causes her to feel unsafe. When you ask about the inner woman, at first she may not know who you are talking about, but when it becomes clear to her, she will love you all the more for it.
Oprah had an article on how women could approach their men. It is a good article, but one of the comments below was even more interesting.
………from Oprah online
Hey! Hey! Hey! I am a real man and I have to put my 2 cents in here. When women talk about how to connect with the men in their life; there are few things to look at: If we are talking about men in a spousal role, at the onset of the relationship, women have to make sure that the men are compatible in every way; I say this because to me love is good in a relationship but communication is greater. Why would you want to live the rest of your life with someone who cannot hold a conversation? Remember the first time you met, he called you ten times a day, invited you to every arena and listened attentively to all you had to say, and you couldn’t shot him up. You have to keep that fire burning all the time; but generally you forget along the way and you changed the routine or you allow life occurrences to dictate new routines for your life; then boom it hits you in between the eyes—No more going with him to the arena, no more healthy conversation, no more talking on the phone for hours, no more spontaneous outings. Now everyday becomes a struggle in and out of your home. Instead of taking a step back to revisit where everything started the nosedive; you only find faults with each other. The fault in my book is 50/50 for both of you because you both forgot to feed the source of your initial conversation which brought you closer together at the beginning. Remember, once you said I do, you cannot turn around and try to change Mr. Silent to Mr. talkative. As for other men in your life; be it a dad, a brother or an uncle it is same antidote; the type of your relationship at the onset with any of these men will always remain same; as long as you continue to feed the source. Women are mostly drawn to their fathers and men to their mothers. If there is a health relationship and flow of conversation from the start, it always continues. You have to continue doing all the things that gives him pleasure to communicate. And forget to pay attention to the details.
Tsoul1007 is right on. It is useless to fix blame on one another. Blame only serves to isolate your partner. That said, the suggestions in the article are great, this is a great article. Approaching men from the side is brilliant! AND… did you know, approaching women almost straight on is appropriate for them. Women feel safer when they can see who’s approaching and assess what their motives are. Approach women from just off center. If you approach women from the side, like you would a man, women get jumpy. Their primitive warning signals go off and they worry about their safety. If you do approach a woman from the side or behind, announce yourself and tell her what your reasons are for approaching her this way. It shows respect for a woman.